Akon Lied About Prison Time
Akon's a wannabe bad boy, with recent revelations that he lied about spending time in prison. Turns out, despite his vocal fantasies to the opposite, Akon's never been locked up at all.
Akon claimed that he was formerly the "ringleader of a notorious car theft operation" and spent four and a half years behind bars. However, recent documents unearthed by thesmokinggun.com reveal that the only time he was in trouble with the law was once in 1998, where he was arrested for being in possession of a stolen BMW. What's more, the court subsequently dropped all charges against him at that time.
Yep, our heart bleeds for him. It must be hard being a straight and narrow muso in the big bad world of American hip hop. No doubt Akon keenly feels his inadequacy when compared to former law-busting heavyweights such as 50 Cent and Snoop Dogg, which may explain this and this. Yet no matter how badly he tries to act up, the severest punishment the star has yet received is three years' probation for gun possession. Like practically every second person in the US.
Perhaps the only way we can suggest of revamping Akon's hardcore image is to persist wearing those neat little tie and cardigan combinations he so favours in public. If he keeps being so fresh and perky looking, he might yet be targeted for Heidi Montag's next hijacked "duet" leak, which would be a certain charge of murder for the rest of us.