The Most Savage Burns From Comedy Central's Roast Of Bruce Willis
The Die Hard actor was roasted by his Looper co-star Joseph Gordon-Levitt as well a panel of familiar faces including Nikki Glaser, Jeff Ross, Edward Norton, Lil Rel Howery, Dennis Rodman, Martha Stewart, Cybill Shepherd, Dom Irrera, and Kevin Pollak...as well as his ex-wife Demi Moore!
As you can imagine, the insults were #SAVAGE. But here are our top ten faves from the night:
1. Demi Moore to Bruce Willis
"I was married to Bruce Willis for the first three Die Hard movies, which makes sense, because the last two sucked."
"People wondered why our marriage came to an end. I think it's because some jealousy started to creep in...Bruce never got over the fact that I rocked the bald look better than he did."
2. Kevin Pollak to Edward Norton
"You want to know how brilliant Ed Norton is? Ask him."
3. Martha Stewart to Dennis Rodman
"If you had told me back in the 90s that Dennis Rodman would be negotiating a nuclear arms agreement in 2018 I would have said, 'Dennis Rodman is alive in 2018'"
4. Joseph Gordon-Levitt to Bruce Willis
"What a career: The Fifth Element, The Sixth Sense, The Whole Nine Yards, 12 Monkeys...zero Oscars."
5. Nikki Glaser to Bruce Willis
"Bruce has been very active with the Make-A-Wish Foundation, which is where they make sick kids meet you so that dying doesn't seem so terrible."
6. Jeff Ross to Bruce Willis
"I met Rumer, your daughter. I guess that's the name your mum gives you when she's not 100% sure who your father is."
7. Demi Moore to Bruce Willis
"I look at our marriage like The Sixth Sense: You were dead the whole time."