#CALLEDIT: MTV's Predictions For 2030
Fiction has depicted the future in every colour; will it be a red-sky Bladerunner type deal? A Matrix-like simulation? Will Elon Musk make it off-planet? So many questions, none we can answer yet – though we can make predictions...
AI musicians and actors will be a thing
And they’ll be on social media. These celebrity robots will be indistinguishable from their flesh-and-blood colleagues. Publicists will choreograph their every move; with no risk of rogue Twitter rants or sudden disappearances into rehab, sabotaging their careers.
But what happens if they become self-aware? Will Celebots want rights? Will they sue their makers for bad programming?
... And to that point, ‘Robosexuals’ will totally be a thing
If a woman could marry the Eiffel Tower way back in 2007, what’s to say a person couldn’t marry a robot in 2030?
Whether it bleeds, or it jangles, a thirst trap is still a thirst trap at the end of the day.
Kim Kardashian West will be President... and still spruiking Skinny Tea
That’s President Kardashian-West to you peasants. Her policies will be #sponsored and she’ll be constantly reigning in Kanye at every event. The only question is, will she be a republican or a democrat? 🤔
Expect headlines like: ‘KIM KARDASHIAN WEST BREAKS THE WHITEHOUSE” and ‘THE KIM KARDASHIAN WEST-WING’.
Some smart-ass kid is gonna hit you with an ‘Ok, Millennial’ and it’s gonna sting
Times change, sometimes very suddenly. The next wave of youth will be upon us before we know it and they’ll probably be angrier than we are.
Vapes are cancelled and the next generation won’t get why we ever liked them
It’s only a matter of a decade before we’ll be copping questions like: ‘Didn’t you realise you were literally tearing up your insides with every peach-flavoured puff?’
To which we’ll roll our eyes, lean back in our Alexa™ Smart Recliners and cough up a few blood clots.
The 2030 equivalent of ‘smashed avo on toast’ will be ‘crickets on 3D printed yeast squares’
You may not want to hear this, but insects are really good for you. When you crunch the numbers most species hold their own against fish or livestock. House crickets contain roughly 205g/kg of protein; beef is 256g/kg. Mealworms have the same amount of omega 3 as fish. Locusts and caterpillars contain more iron than beef.
That’s just nutritional value. Extreme weather conditions as a result of climate change are already reducing farming productivity, and insects produce a fraction of the greenhouse gases. One cow drinks 11,000 gallons of water per year; 11,000 crickets only need 109 gallons in a year.
As for how these creepy-crawlies will be prepared...
Minion Memes become the height of comedy... and then a hate symbol
Just like the cycles of the moon, or careers of cancelled celebrities - we live in a loop of causality… bright yellow hellish causality. The teens of 2030 find the gibberish spouting, goggle-wearing marketing weapons absolutely hilarious for reasons no one else will understand. But it won’t be long before they’re used by an extremist movement as a hate symbol and are banned entirely.
We’ll have printers in our kitchens
Intricate designs, automated cooking, mass manufacturing, personalised meals; 3D food printers are the future of food… and they already exist. The Foodini is one of the few commercially available 3D food printers; but with its limited production and steep price tag, at this stage they can only be found in the most high end restaurants.
The classic gaff of using salt instead of sugar will turn into heated arguments about who put the spinach cartridge into the dessert printer.
JLO will still have the best rig in the business
That’s just a fact.
In an effort to combat climate change, the Morrison Government extends Earth Hour, from one hour to two
Between that and the thoughts and prayers – the environment will be saved!
Main Image Credit: Under licence from Getty