Ex On The Beach episode 4 recap
Welcome back to Ex On The Beach where we delight in watching these tanned and taught guys and girls squirm on the beach as one by one their exes arrive to shake sh*t up. We left the gang last week with Vicky in tears over her failed romance with Ross the shag-and-shouter! It’s been a full on couple of weeks so the gang head to the water park to engage in some good old fashioned fun – cue Brady Bunch style montage. Well not everyone got that memo as Chloe continues her flanter with Ash by inspecting his “peanut” nipples err, right. Elsewhere at the water park ‘Things I never thought I’d see…’ what’s this? Frankie actually having a normal non-heated conversation with another female? Talitha and No 1. Nut-job Frankie share ex-boyfriend woes.
Back at the villa and the Tablet of Terror delivers the news that Talitha and Liam are off on a date. Meddler extraordinaire Liam practically cackles in Ash’s face as he gleefully announces, “I’ll go easy mate.” There we go first pot-stir for the episode. The duo head off on a Buggy Safari date riding through the dusty hills, we normally find Liam annoyingly persistent in his quest to tear the house apart, but on this date he’s giving us Jax from Sons of Anarchy vibes and we’re not mad at all. He actually shares a pretty sweet moment with Talitha, where he lets his guard down and speaks of his pretty messy failed long term relationship, as she tries to dig beneath his veneer.
Elsewhere Vicky, Ross and Chloe head down to the beach ready for the impending arrival of another ex. Their calculations lead them to the conclusion that surely the next ex must be Vicky’s and what do you know out pops former Rugby League star Daniel Conn who famously hooked up with the Vickster on Geordie Shore in Australia. Now if you thought that the other fellas on this show were buff this guy is making them look like skeletons as he emerges from the sea like a warrior from 300. Vicky looks well chuffed to see her former flame and then immediately disappointed as she remembers that oh yeah she was just bonking Ross… who’s sitting next to her. Regretsville population: Vicky. In true Ex On The Beach style the Tablet of Terror whisks Dan out of Vicky’s arms and into that of queen of flanter herself, Chloe, as they head off on a date. Vicky sends dagger eyes at Chloe – we’ll consider that your first warning.
Now we’d like you to take a moment silence for probably the worst news we’ve heard all year… Frankie has taken ill and will no longer be joining us on the show! We’re devastated. We’re shocked. We’re heartbroken. However the rest of cast seem fairly unfazed most of all her lover Marco who, with a glint in his eye, reveals that he’s back in the game and ready to mingle. While he is happy to see her leave it is a sad day for the rest of us off the island. Goodbye Frankie you beautiful crazy squirrel.
At the villa Dan arrives to meet the group and is met in a true mark of bravado with all the males puffing their chests out as they assure us they’re not intimidated by his muscles. He’s lovely and polite to all and to be honest we’re not really paying attention to what he says because….well because he is just so beautiful. Side Note: Does Jack have a bowl cut? Oh bless. As if that boy didn’t have enough problems already. Tablet of Terror strikes again with Vicky and Dan paired up and Chloe and Ash both off on dates. The latter get steamy in a couples massage class, Ash trying his darndest to sneak a peek of Chloe’s goods, but he must have forgotten that she’s a lingerie model so could probably just catch a glimpse in this month’s nudie mag for half the effort.
Vicky and Dan off on a mountain bike date (Vicky babes you really need to calm down on the tangerine fake tan on the hands) where she thinks it’s a good opportunity to drop the bomb that she’s got a wee bit of a crush on him but also has just bedded Ross only mere days ago. Dan takes it like a champ, making us fall even more in love with him despite the obnoxious body tattoos. Vicky seems to fall for it hook, line and sinker too as they engage in a bit of a mountain top tash-fest.
Elsewhere Farah decides to grow a personality and confronts Chloe about hating on the girls and never spending time with them. Chloe quickly realises that she’s made no female friends in the villa and vows to join the girls team. Not in that way, calm down boys. Emma Jane seems to be let out of her cage and speaks some words, just when we had completely forgotten who she was. Tension growing on the beach between Ash and Talitha, as Liam keeps doing what he does best by stirring that big old pot. And just as we were about to cry the night away due to Frankie leaving the show we can now die happy as Dan strips off naked for a midnight nudie dip. On that note, sweet dreams.