Geordie Shore Season 7 Episode 2 recap
Last week’s season premiere of ‘Geordie Shore’ season 7 saw our favourite lads and lasses catch some chickens, compile a bucket list and meet the latest house member – Sophie’s cousin, Marnie. After a bit of bonding (and a lot of cuddling with Scotty T) we’re gearing up for a whole new dynamic this season…
Warning: Spoilers ahead…
After Marnie confesses her love for Scott (bombshell!), and the duo spends the night spooning, there’s bound to be Geordie drama in the morning – kicking off with an unimpressed Gaz. While Scott puts it down to jealousy (because “Gaz only pulls birds that look like feet”), the lasses have another take on it: plain selfishness.
While Holly sits sour-faced in bed, Marnie and Sophie head off to do the laundry (consisting of “sex sheets, discharge, sperm and spew” i.e. “Geordie Shore in a bag”). Engaging in a little bit of cousin bonding, Sophie warns Marnie against Scott – advice that is quickly discarded, with Marnie claiming “I always do what I want. And if I want Scott, I’m going to go for him.”
And she certainly does. First, she kicks things off by asking to join the lads on ‘Lads Night.’ Despite being turned down, the remaining lasses are not impressed. While the girls stay in for a night of awkward pizza, the lad’s hit the town for a few games of pool/ pulling – although Gaz is disappointed in Scotty’s efforts: “I’m actually ashamed of the lad I used to know called ‘Scott’: now he’s grown a fanny, he’s on his period – pathetic.”
But Scott stands his newly-loved up ground, stating: “I’m not going to do that to Marnie, after she’s just blatantly declared her love for us.” With this in mind, Gaz pulls on his own, and Scott and James go home to, quite literally, “cuddle the chickens.”
While the boys are cuddling chickens, Vicky decides it’s time to defy Holly’s c**k fright and take the girls to “make pottery penises.” While Holly remains adamant that it won’t cure her fear (“It’s not a real penis. I’m not scared of clay”) it gives Holly and Marnie a chance to bond over the phallic clay creation of Scotty T… aaawkward.
Things only get more awkward and Marnie and Sophie have a major falling out, leaving the new girl segregated to the boys’ camp. But things don’t stay awkward for long, with Joel arriving to fix the cousin mess – by setting up a double date. While Marnie is overjoyed, Scotty T is a little bit more dubious, saying “I’m not classing it as a date whatsoever.” The date goes surprisingly well, despite a few jabs about Scott’s flirtatious habits, which he valiantly defends: “If Marnie wasn’t here, I’d probably flirt with the f**king cutlery.” Nice.
Meanwhile, Gaz fumes over Scott’s decision to go on a date, claiming he’s broken “every lad code” of the Geordie house. James gives an apt summary of the situation: “On one hand, he’s got Marnie who he fancies and wants to put his d**k in. But then again, on the other hand, He’s got Gaz, his mate, who he also fancies and he also wants to put his d**k in – it’s just all too much for Scotty T’s little brain.”
Meanwhile, Holly complains about losing her “play toy,” and Vicky and Charlotte down some awkward shots. But despite the drama, the night ends in classic Geordie style – with Joel face down in the gutter and throwing up on Sophie. How romantic.
Watch the second episode of ‘Geordie Shore: Series Seven’ below and don’t forget to tune in to the new episodes when they hit the screens with no delay from the UK every Wednesday at 7am in AU/ 9am in NZ – only on MTV!
— Alyce Wearne