'Geordie Shore' Season 7 Episode 5 Recap
Last week’s episode of ‘Geordie Shore’ season 7 saw a whole lot of “deep grooves,” 007 action, and Marnie storm out after a screaming match with Holly and Charlotte… Now, in this week’s episode…
Warning: Spoilers ahead…
After a week of twiddling their thumbs in awkward anticipation of the “home-wreckers” return – Marnie’s back.
While Charlotte and Holly make sure that the lass receives a warm welcome (i.e. banging on bench tops, kicking walls, throwing lamps – a process Charlotte describes as “marking our territory”) Marnie confronts the duo, who are busy acting like they've “just been released from the zoo.”
Charlotte is less than impressed, screaming: “If she’s got any sense, she’ll get the f**k out of this house, because she doesn’t f**king belong here!”
Marnie stands her ground, voicing her suspicion that Charlotte is only acting out of jealousy for Gaz – implying there’s still a spark between the show’s fiery ex-lovers.
Doing absolutely nothing to stop the rumour, Charlotte hops into the Shag Pad with Gaz only hours later, after a mortal night in the city. In fact, it seems as though the Geordie girl is as confused by her decision as everyone else, asking: “Why am I in the Shag Pad having a laugh with Gary?”
Meanwhile, the lads help Marnie escape the drama with a surfing trip down the coast. This seems to help immensely, with Marnie using the opportunity to compare her potential suitors: “Scott’s got the Australian surfer did thing going on, but Gary’s got the bigger bulge.” Okay.
The awkwardness only gets better, with Gaz helping Marnie into her wetsuit, while a stone-faced Scott looks on: “I’m zipping it up, but from the look that’s Scott’s giving us, I might as well be f**king licking her out.”
Playing it safe, Gaz spends most of the day in the water, while Marnie and Scott laze on the beach, discussing their “relationship.”
Marnie takes the chance to dish out a clear ultimatum, telling Scott: “You can’t have the best of both worlds, you can’t flirt with me during the day and then lead me on, and then pull people when you fancy.”
With that in mind, the lad attempts tame his Buck Squad ways, despite admitting that the games are getting old: “I’m starting to think that Marnie’s never going to put out… and my right forearm is getting f**king massive.”
She may not be putting out, but Marnie’s still heading out – hitting the town for a night at Bijoux. Despite being more than dubious about clubbing with the girls, the lass decides to keep to herself, employing the universal tactic for minimising awkwardness: getting mortal.
Even so, Holly and Charlotte can’t help but notice the newcomer dancing on her own, and decide to wave the white flag: “We can’t let that girl stand there by herself every single night till the end, we just can’t!” Holly cries.
After such an emotional make-up session, Scott decides to take the Geordies down to London for a mortal night in the capital.
To the Geordies’ surprise, Mitch (Charlotte’s boyfriend) shows up to join the party – absolutely hammered. While Holly is more than delighted with Mitch’s “fit” friend (who she face mauls on the couch) Charlotte’s night turns to disaster when her boyfriend kicks off. Holly helpfully summarises the situation, stating: “Charlotte’s crying and none of us really know what’s going on.”
With so much drama and drunkenness, Charlotte leaves the hotel with her grumpy lover, ending the episode just like last weeks: one man down.
Watch the fifth episode of ‘Geordie Shore’ season 7 below and don’t forget to tune in to the new episodes when they hit the screens with no delay from the UK every Wednesday at 7am in AU/ 9am in NZ – only on MTV!
— Alyce Wearne