Calvin Harris Loses Brand New Album In Luggage
Besides hefty taxes, dry skin, jet lag and plastic food, it seems air travel and airports can now claim responsibility for stealing seven months from your life too.
They haven't invented time travel or discovered a hole in the space-time continuum, but they still managed to inflict something akin to this on groove-geek Calvin Harris recently.
Electronic New Wave Dance (yes we are making up genres now) master Calvin recently lost the only existing copy of his brand new album, after returning to the UK from a recent trip to Miami. This loss was due to an apparent "baggage crisis" (not of the mandatory eye variety) at Heathrow airport, resulting in the loss of months of his hard work.
Calvin told his fans "the nice people/robots at Heathrow's Terminal 5 lost ALL of our bags, including my hard drive, with ALL my fucking songs on [it]."
The lost album was originally destined to be the follow-up to his 2007 manifesto, "I Created Disco", and Calvin described the work as "about 10,000 times better than the first one". Unfortunately the validity of these statements will never be confirmed.
(We would like to use this part of the story to advise that the first draft of this story was similarly 10,000 times wittier, but got lost during a hard drive crash, resulting in significant humour loss.)
But is it possible that all of this is a convenient excuse? You would think someone who was "born in the 80s" would be clued up enough to back up his hard drive (did nobody learn from Carrie's hard drive crash on Sex and the City?)
He is, however, tech savvy enough to blog about the recent experience, writing: "I heard on the news that some people may not get their bags back for A YEAR, but apparently we are getting 750 compensation, which will obviously cover the costs of 7 months work."
This would make Calvin's time worth a total of 3 pounds a day, and seems about right for a home studio star, although Calvin disagrees.
"I have been walking in circles for a couple of days, and will continue to do so until I meet the man/robot responsible and set him/it on fire," he said.
As a result of the airline loss, Calvin has had to cancel a string of gigs in the UK, due to him spending every waking second making up for lost months. And we assume that the man/robot responsible has gone into hiding.