Ex On The Beach Episode 6 recap
The tangled web of exes just keeps getting more and more convoluted. One by one a new ex arrives and we’re deep in the thick of it with six exes now wreaking havoc in paradise. Is it wrong that we’re getting so much enjoyment from watching these people squirm?! This week we start off with a rundown of all the pseudo couples:
1. Liam apologising to Emily. Apologising, when Emily was the one who acted like a princess? Dayumm boy really wants to get laid.
2. Things heating up between manwhore Joss and Farah. Farah: “He does like me” #RATEYOURSELF
3. Talitha and Ashley are OFFICIAL boyfie and g-fry again. Ashley: “I do like the girl…she’s attractive.” Ah yes the foundations of a long-lasting relationship: A TIGHT ASS.
4. Jack and the pigeons. They won’t return his calls.
The gang is gathered around to hear what the Tablet of Terror has to say and it looks like someone’s gone guns with the Sharpie on Vicky’s face – she looks pretty decent with a mo. Talitha and Joss are “off to meet the parents” but before their drawers have even dried they breathe a sigh of relief as they head off to meet not their own parents but a random Spanish couple. Makes sense.
Back at the villa it’s fancy dress night and we know how randy everyone gets when they dress up in costume. As per, Chloe is flirting with all of the boys and it’s starting to feel a little Bukkake as they all pour their beers on her and the throw her in the pool. Later on there were nine in the bed and the little one said “spoon me please.” Absent from the Spoonfest are Vicky and Dan keen to spend their first night alone, although Jack didn’t seem to get that memo as he’s snuggled in beside them, bedtime story mate?
The next day before anyone can get too comfortable Ross, Joss, Vicky and Farah are headed down to the beach to welcome a new ex. Out from the ocean emerges a six foot hunchbacked woman…..kidding! It’s Shelby the 19-year-old model (of course she is) and former ex of BOTH Ross and Joss. She’s motored through two best friends in the space of a year and looks like a slutty Snow White, welcome to the island. She’s here to win back Ross, but for now she’s summoned on a cocktail making date with Joss.
Jack and Emily are headed off on a date and he fancies himself in with a chance. They head into the bush and are greeted by a man wearing naught but his manhood – poor Emily can’t catch a break on these dates. Jack follows his lead and strips naked quite disappointed that Emily didn’t do the same. Don’t worry kid, breasts aren’t a myth, you’ll see them one day. Jack tries to lay on the charm but Emily doesn’t want a bar of it, prefers her men literate.
Ross admits to Chloe he likes her but Chloe questions whether he is genuine and so do we. Elsewhere there’s more questioning with Vicky unsure if Dan wants her for her tangerine skin and all or just to boost his career (post-Roosters pickin’s are slim). He assures her that he’s into her and they have a good ol’ fashioned tash on. Interjection: he’s hot, we mean, that thing is fah-ine. Anyway we digress, Vicky best not get too comfortable as flashes of Ricci pop up and they’re going to drop him on her like Hiroshima so soon we can taste it. The Geordie lass has kept a level head so far that we’re pretty excited to see crazy Vicky when shit hits the fan.
The house is headed out for a night of clubbing whilst Ash and Talitha are to have a romantic date night at home that goes awry. Joss lets Farah know he wants to pursue things with her, read: “fork” her.
Emma Plain, err sorry, Jane has her 30 seconds of air time and says something forgettable. Ross and Shelby get a little too close for Chloe’s comfort as she sends daggers her way.
Farah basically squeals with excitement when Shelby says she’s only there to win back Ross and doesn’t want nuthin’ to do with Joss.
Liam has one more crack at Emily but the chastity underwear prevails. Later back at the villa Ross and Shelby get cosy in bed only to be interrupted by Chloe. She’s not good at sharing I guess. Shelby gets miffed and hops into bed with Jack; he thinks he’s getting lucky, bless him.
The next day the secret that’s been on the tip of everyone’s lips; that Talitha kissed Joss mid-relationship with Ash is about to be revealed. Talitha spills the beans to Ash and, of course, his immediate reaction is to go Rambo on Joss. The boys’ eyes light up, ding ding it’s fight time! And that’s where we leave it for the week folks.
Join us next Wednesday to see how these kitty cats scratch it out.