Heidi Montag's Debut Music Clip A Disaster
Heidi Montag's released a music clip that - if you can believe it - is even more cringeworthy than Paris Hilton's 2007 horror, "Stars Are Blind". You thought it couldn't get any worse that Paris swooning around on a tropical island? Turns out, it could.
Heidi's doing it better with her long-awaited debut "Higher" - she's flaunting her floaties that would make any Surf Lifesaver jealous, with a hot pink bikini in a hue seemingly inspired by Colette's Ring My Bell filmclip way back in 1989. Team it up with a voice that sounds like Bollywood without the bass, and backed by an electronic pop track that sounds like it's straight from a D-Grade porn movie, and you've got all the right ingredients to know that Lauren's just laughing her arse off.
Heidi's filmclip was produced by her fianc Spencer Pratt, and you can guess what that adds to the already-ridiculous mix. A lot of body fixation while Heidi frolicks in rough surf, clambers over rocks, chases seagulls and rolls on the sand. This is all garnished by Spencer's requisite dodgy cutting and poor film quality; exactly what you'd expect from a guy who's usually only ever in front of the camera, rather than behind it.
Luckily for Heidi though, her beachside frolick took place while she was the only one on the sand - clearly, because the clip was filmed in the middle of winter, when everyone in their right mind was probably wearing cable knits and whatever else it is that normal Americans do when it gets cold.
But we say luckily because she looks so thin, white and downright scary that anyone who happened to be on the beach would probably be throwing her chips if they saw her with the seagulls.
If you thought it couldn't get any better than that, Heidi goes and delivers the piece de resistance by ending the song with a great big sigh and a girly whisper, while a piano emerges under the pop beat.
It's confused, cringeworthy and crap. We just couldn't expect anything more from a Laguna princess, but we love it all the same. Bring on the new season of The Hills!