The Hoff Is Hospitalised
Poor old Hoff's back on the wagon.
He was admitted to a Los Angeles hospital on Monday - that infamous Cedars Sinai facility that Owen Wilson recently made famous - requiring attention for his alcohol addiction. Sources reported that far from his usual bronzed and chipper self, he was visibly "ashen" and looked "sick" when he was admitted.
"It was just so sad" the National Enquirer reported.
It's not the first time that he's been Hoff his rocker. His daughter Taylor filmed him several months ago eating a hamburger under the influence, which earned him a great deal of unwanted attention. And that's saying something, considering Hasselhoff's legendary willingness to take the Mickey out of himself. Despite the fact that the video was more of a monologue for fourteen-year-old Taylor than an expose into Hasselhoff's alcoholism (he just lay on the floor, fixated on eating his hamburger and delivering the occasional grunts, while Taylor told him Hoff for drinking), the actor was reportedly "humiliated" by its release, which was allegedly intended by Taylor to be only an intimate family project deterring him from future grog guzzling.
Hasselhoff's troubles come at a difficult time for the ex Knight Rider, Baywatch buffoon and German basketball team hero. The recent grassroots movement "Get Hasselhoff To Number One" was only successful in launching him to Number Three on the UK charts. He is also experiencing a divorce from his wife of 16 years, Pamela Bach, and an ensuing custody battle for their daughters, Taylor and Hayley.
In addition, the Hoffmeister has been cast in the upcoming and undoubtedly cringe worthy "Anaconda 3: the Offspring", to be filmed in Romania; and a fictional reality TV show (doesn't that sound strange?) Tales Of The Hoff, based on the presumably hilarious repercussions of the Hoff trying to become an A-List movie star and dating scene love-god after 16 years of happy marriage.
It all sounds like a recipe for disaster. We can only hope that he can find it within himself to laugh it Hoff.