This Girl's Story Proves We're All Too Hard On Ourselves
For several years I’ve dealt with my insecurities and not fully loving myself or my body.
I’ve been insecure for as long as I can remember, I’ve just decided now to put a time period on it.
Being insecure isn’t fun. It’s pretty hard to deal with the overwhelmingly long list of insecurities that I’ve got, or how low my self-esteem really is.
When I look at myself in the mirror I see two different people – on the left, someone that I’d like to be; someone that I can love. On the right, who I am right now; someone that I’ve grown to hate. That’s become my reality of being insecure.
My reality is wishing everyday that I could lose weight, grow my self-esteem, and finally have confidence in myself.
Some people don’t seem to quite understand that though.
It isn’t easy being insecure; it isn’t easy not being able to fully love yourself. And no, being insecure is not a way to seek attention, or a way to get others to sympathize with you. It’s a real issue that some people struggle with every single day.
I lie awake at night sometimes wondering how my life would be like if I wasn’t so insecure; if I could look in the mirror everyday and like what I see.
For some reason, I can never fully picture that in my mind. Whenever I try, a blank space comes up in its place.
Whenever I’m out with friends, they always compliment me on how I look and question why I’ve got so many insecurities. I can never fully explain why, just that it’s personal and that it’s a weight I’ve carried on my shoulders for a really long time.
The media has had a huge impact on my self-esteem and being insecure.
It’s sad that young women and men have a permanent image embedded in their minds of how they should look. It’s sad that I’ve got that same image embedded in mine. It’s hard walking out in public sometimes, knowing that you don’t look like the Victoria Secret model you wish you looked like, and having a thousand pairs of eyes staring at you.
Sometimes you feel like people are whispering bad things about you as you walk by them – “Look at that girl, she looks so fat.”, “Has she looked at herself in the mirror?”, “Holy s*** she’s ugly”.
It suffocates you and you start to feel a surge of anxiety.
The funny thing is that’s how I feel, but no one knows that I feel that way. No one knows that I’ve felt that way for a really long time. But I cannot and will not continue to let society control my life.
I’ve finally decided that enough is enough – I don’t have to look a certain way to love myself or to love my body.
I don’t have to have this image of a certain body type in my head, and wish everyday that I could look like that. I don’t have to have a long list of insecurities when I don’t have to hate every little thing about myself; the things that make me human. And neither do you.
Only you have the power to control how you look and how you feel about yourself; no one can make those decisions for you. Not your family, not your friends, and definitely not society – only you. I get that you’re struggling with accepting yourself and so am I, but you can’t let the media or society tell you how to look, how to feel, and how to act.
Some wise words from Alessia Cara to persuade you that you’re amazing the way you are: “You don’t have to change a thing, the world can change its heart. No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful.” Love yourself, love your body, and most of all love who you are.
- Ellie Doe-Demosse
Do you need urgent help?
If you have hurt yourself or need immediate help, call emergency services: 000.
If you are feeling overwhelmed and in need of support, you can contact these 24/7 crisis support services:
Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800
Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467
Lifeline: 13 11 14
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