Geordie Shore's Sophie Kasaei Opens Up About Having Suicidal Thoughts
The lass spoke to psychological therapist Emma Kenny for Closer magazine about her split with Joel Cory, her new relationship with Jay and a time when she thought she "didn't want to be here anymore."
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Sophie revealed a string of events, including her parent's messy divorce, the failing of her business and her departure from Geordie Shore in 2013 led her to a pretty difficult place mentally.
"I felt like I'd lost everything and I was left thinking 'what else can go wrong?'," she said.
Sophie added: "I had depression, and I started getting suicidal thoughts. I just didn't want to be here anymore," she said.
Life started to get better for Sophie when she began taking care of herself, and re-joined Geordie Shore: "The producers of Geordie Shore said they wanted me to take part in a reunion show. The reaction from the public was great and then they asked me back full time. I felt like I was given a second chance at life, I was so grateful. I started taking care of myself more, too, so I felt better in that way as well."
But it seems that one person who was there for her through it all (the good AND the bad) was her ex Joel Cory, who she split amicably with last year: "Joel stuck by me the whole time. People started to say he was with me for my fame, but I lost my fame - and my money - and he was still there. He really stuck by me, but last year we hit a wall."
"I wanted to settle down, but he wasn't ready to settle down. It was an amicable break-up. We've not spoken since, but I see what he's doing via social media and I really want him to be happy," she said.
The lass opened up about insecurities in her relationships, revealing that in the beginning with Joel she worried that he was "gorgeous and ripped" while she didn't feel she was "the best looking."
"We stayed together for seven years and I got to the point where I realised he really did love me," she said.
And now Sophie is happy in a relationship with her new bae, Jay, but she admits a few doubts still creep in.
"There are moments when those doubts creep in and I'll think, "Is Jay with me for me?" But he didn't know who I was when I first messaged him on Instagram, so I know I need to work on my self-esteem," she told Closer.
But it looks very much like Jay is a keeper, as Sophie explained: "He's a normal guy an he's from a close family. I'm 29 now, so if we're still together in a year, I'd love to have a child."
If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, get support by contacting Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue.
See How Far Sophie Kasaei Has Come Since 'Geordie Shore' Began!