The Bikini Shopping Experience, As Told In Gifs
What's worse than shopping for jeans? Trying to buy a bikini.
You start off excited. You're spending money! Spending money is FUN.
Who cares if you only have $200 til pay day! Looking good is PRICELESS.
You walk into the surf store like you fkn OWN that place.
Here comes the queen, bow down everyone I got money to BURN.
You pick up about 305702 bikinis, and try to sneak them all in the changeroom at once.
No luck. That shop assistant has eyes like a fkn HAWK. An annoyingly enthusiastic hawk.
Okay, so you clearly thought you were a size 0 Victoria's Secret model...
There goes 3/4 of the sh*t you've taken off the racks, that won't even fit over one boob. AWESOME.
You really wish you fake-tanned before you started this thing
This definitely would be a less sh*t experience if you looked like you spent the week in Bali.
WTF is with the lights in here?
Are they ON PURPOSE trying to make me see my cellulite?
You basically have to lean out of the change-room naked to ask for the next set of bikinis
See retail lady, this is why I wanted to take them all in at once.
You start losing your mind.
You normally like your bod, but this is BRUTAL.
You toss up whether wearing a wetsuit all summer is a normal option
At least you know they'll suit you.
Then suddenly - you find a style that DOESN'T look like sh*t
Balconette bra bikini, I could kiss you!
Things are looking up - you found a winner!
Thank GOD, finally.
You want to charge me WHAT?
$200 for basically two strips of material? Are you f*cking high?
But you'll pay it because you're traumatised
You aren't going back to the racks. No WAY.
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