35 Thoughts I Had Watching 'The Hills: New Beginnings' Episode 3
Welcome back to your weekly recaps of The Hills: New Beginnings. If you're reading this, know that I appreciate you and I think you're STUNNING.
I digress, it's week 3 and we're starting to fire up here, folks. Has Mischa Barton become my favourite character? Yes. Trust me, I'm as shocked as you are.
What does Hollywood have in store for us? Let's take a look at 35 thoughts I had watching the latest episode...
1. If 'The Days Of Our Lives' did a crossover episode with 'Breaking Amish'.
2. Smiling whilst saying "I would get up, but I'm not going to" is a huge power move and the only way I'm going to greet people from now on.
3. OooooOOOooooOOOOOooo Justin Bobby kissed Audrina....ON THE LIPS.
4. "Matt" Audrina's blind date is actually a Jason Wahler clone and this is all just an episode of Black Mirror. Discuss:
5. I refuse to believe this is a real text exchange between Audrina and Justin Bobby. "How's dinna"????!!!!!!??!?!?!?!
6. "Brandon's Mom's House" HOW DARE YOU. THAT'S PAMELA ANDERSON TO YOU.
7. I do not like Brody's tone. Drinking on a Tuesday is fine. Totally fine.
8. Spencer has arrived to the party wearing a backpack. What could possibly go wrong?
9. Hearing Spencer say "squad goals" on loop is a new torture method.
10. Spencer handing out free crystals to influencers then using them for marketing material is my porn.
11. Brandon, I don't care that this is an outfit you have willingly chosen to put on your body. You're hot.
12. Omg no. Spencer! Put your phone away and stop taking pictures of the girls in bikinis. Step away.
13. My heart is breaking hearing Heidi talk about getting pressured into getting a f*ck tonne of surgery.
14. When the tequila kicks in and your start telling people you're not a "drone".
15. Spencer said he loves Brody more than his own actual sister, Steph. TEA.
16. Steph is totally fine with Audrina and Justin Bobby going on a date!!!!! I promise!!! Look at her face!!!
17. The love triangle is ON, bitches. Make your bets.
18. I honestly don't want this to sound rude....but....Justin Bobby singing....it ain't it.
19. "I'm a mother f*ckin Pisces." HUGE Pisces energy.
20. Lol I am this dog.
21. Why are Audrina and Ashley shopping for clothes when Audrina's stylist is just going to charge her $2,000 a week just to put a hat on her head?
22. I can't concentrate on their chat. I just need to know what is in the burrito. It looks very black bean heavy....perhaps a veggo option. Will investigate further.
23. "I think Stephanie looks great. I don't know what she put in her face, but it's working." Wow.
24. LITERALLY NOTHING YOU'VE SAID MAKES SENSE.
25. If a girl doesn't get angry at you for beating them in games - then are you even really dating a girl?
26. Yewwwww shout out THE MAD HUEYS!
27. I don't know who needs to hear this today, but Brody doesn't want to have kids.
28. I can't tell you how little Mischa cares that Ashley recently saw her dress in a store.
29. I love that Mischa effectively called Steph a bitch.
30. Spare a thought for dear Brody. None of his 'Hills' friends have come to see him DJ.
31. My favourite game is guessing what character Heidi is going to arrive as. Tonight she is Malibu Morticia Addams.
32. Gunner really is at the centre of all of this drama.
33. Listens to "Old Town Road" once...
34. Now kiss:
35. Dancing Steph is honestly my aunty at any family functions after 2+ Pinot Grigios.
PICS: Check Out How The Hills' Brandon Lee Has Changed Over The Years...
PICS: Check Out How The Hills' Brandon Lee Has Changed Over The Years
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