Your Local Kebab Shop Is Now Trending, Introducing Your New Facebook Group Obsession
Look out Fatties Burger Appreciation Society! Your local kebab shop is blowing up online, thanks to a new Facebook group on the scene.
The new peak in interest centres on Halal Snack Packs (aka ‘HSPs’) all because of an online community of enthusiasts who call themselves the Halal Snack Pack Appreciation Society (HSPAS). The group has more than 50,000 Facebook members and growing fast.
So what is a HSP? It’s a delectable layered concoction consisting of kebab meat, chips, sauce and cheese (costing extra if you please).
You may have seen the HSP disguised on the kebab menu as a ‘mixed plate’ or ‘snack box.’ But there is no hiding the fact that once it hits your lips you will never have a kebab again. Ever.
The guys over at HSPAS have developed a rating system (amongst top-notch banter) on how to review an HSP.
1. You must open with a standard greeting.
2. Then you identify the name and location of the kebab house that you ventured to (helps to tag the establishment).
3. Optionally you can provide a backstory for how you made the pilgrimage to your destination. Some have been known to fly for their preferred HSP.
NOTE: Under no circumstances are you allowed to order tomato sauce on your HSP, it's forbidden.
#FOODPORN Spotlight: Halal Snack Packs
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After this pleasantry is finished then the real issue is addressed: but how was the HSP?
You need to tread carefully and follow the strict code of a HSPAS review - this is serious business.
Aziz Ansari comes to mind. His character in ‘Parks and Recreation’ has a similar screening process for finding bangers.
Here are the criteria, each rated out of 10, that a reviewer must address:
Halal: Signage of certification must be visible, with extra points for the use of neon.
Service: It’s a major requirement to be greeted upon arrival.
Meat: You can have beef, chicken, lamb (if offered) or mixed. The meat basically must be plentiful, artery-clogging and most importantly delicious.
Sauce: There needs to be adequate quantity (no tomato obviously). FYI, the best, and arguably only, combo is barbecue, garlic and chilli.
Chips: Points depend on quantity, crispiness and saltiness.
Styro: Were you given Styrofoam? If yes, well done. It is styro/10. However, for dine-ins it is acceptable to be given a plate, knife and fork.
Price: If it was $10 then that’s standard.
An average out of 10 is given and a message of whether or not the reviewer would recommend it to other HSPAS members.
Finally, a photo of your conquered meal is posted below. This is the crucial element that speaks for itself.
There you have it fast-food foodies and junk-food junkies of the world. You can now safely add HSPs to your list of vices and thank us in advance.
- Aaron Taylor
Introducing 'The Fatties Burger Appreciation Society': A Facebook group devoted to burgers
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