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OPINION: I’m Convinced Scott Morrison Lives In An Alternate Universe

In the midst of Australia’s two most populous cities in lockdown, Prime Minister Scott Morrison took to Kyle & Jackie O and quashed the Engadine Maccas rumour, something that was obviously of highest priority.

As Greater Sydney approaches another week in lockdown and Melbourne faces its fifth (!!!) lockdown, punters frantically search the country for Prime Minister Scott Morrison. How will he lead us through another perilous wave of COVID-19..? Naturally, the PM was found talking to Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O about the rumour that he packed his dacks at Engadine McDonalds in 1997.

In all respect to Morrison – the meagre amounts I have to give him – he was specifically on the show to talk about the range of COVID-19 relief payments that are accessible to those whose livelihoods have been impacted by coronavirus and whatever lockdowns it may facilitate.

As news.com.au reports, Sandilands said he regretted not voting for Morrison in the 2019 election, because of how he felt “safe” due to Morrison handling “disaster after disaster.”

Interesting, because out of the last two major national crises I remember, one of them he was holidaying in Hawaii for, and the other could have been partially quelled had he not bungled a vaccination rollout. But sure, Sandilands, I’ll let you have this one.

The duo then pressed Morrison on who he thought was the best premier (???) before Morrison put a stop to all the frivolous talk about the novel coronavirus to address what is truly plaguing the nation: the infamous rumour about Morrison and Engadine Maccas.

“Can I clear up one thing from ages ago?” the leader of our country said, as the Delta variant continues to spread to, hospitalise and potentially even kill people at this very moment. Addressing the rumour, Morrison said, “It is the biggest urban myth ever, it is complete and utter rubbish.” (Me about two minutes ago when Sandilands said he felt safe under Morrison’s leadership.)

“I found the whole thing incredibly amusing, I always joke about it ... it is absolute and total rubbish.”

Sandilands was disappointed Morrison had quashed the rumour (bestie, same!!!) and Jackie O joked that Morrison really came on the show to address it, and not to get the word out about the COVID relief payments.

It’s a shame that the Tokyo Olympics are just around the corner. Scott Morrison’s PR team would have made a GREAT entry for our gymnastics squad, given the flips, spins and loops they’ve jumped through in an effort to redeem his public image.

Frankly, this particular radio appearance of Morrison’s wouldn't even be that egregious in the scheme of things, had he not already addressed the SAME rumour in APRIL of LAST YEAR on the SAME NETWORK.

YOU KNOW, WHEN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY WAS IN LOCKDOWN IN AN EFFORT TO COMBAT THE CORONAVIRUS.

Look, we’ve all shat ourselves. But there is a time and a place to address such subjects, and 'in the midst of a rapidly-growing COVID-19 outbreak that’s plunging our two biggest cities in lockdown' sits somewhere at the bottom of such a list.

Despite his denial, the jury is still out on whether Scott Morrison actually shat himself at Engadine Maccas in 1997. However, I can firmly say he has shat on all of us with his failure of a vaccination rollout, and his unwillingness to take accountability for it.

This opinion piece is written by Jackson Langford, senior music and culture writer at MTV Australia. Hot takes at @jacksonlangford and hotter pics at @jacksonlangford.

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