It's hard to believe that only three moons have passed since we first heard that Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker were dating. It strangely feels like this couple, replete with their "Sk8er Boi" aesthetic, have been with us since the beginning of time.
And while the couple only gave us coy glimpses of their relationship to begin with – Kourtney's handwritten notes; a hand touching another hand – the situation has rapidly escalated into one of borderline pornographic oversharing.
Here's your quick highlight reel showing how Kourtney and Travis have publicly documented their relationship so far:
Kourtney confirms the two are Instagram Official™️. Kourtney posted a photo of her hands intertwined with Travis' on Valentines Day this year. Like I've always said, there's nothing that honours the spirit of the great martyr Saint Valentine like a perfectly manicured hand entwined with a Blink-182 hand. Relatable.
The unsettling tweet. A few days after Valentine's Day, Travis cryptically tweeted the words "May We destroy each other completely", a sure sign that either something good or bad was happening in his life. His tweet elicited replies from "so true bestie" to "are you ok?" (It later emerged he was tweeting words from one of Kourtney's trademark love notes.)
Kourtney professes her love in a note. The Blink-182 member made his relationship with the Kardashian abundantly clear when he posted another note from Kourtney featuring the words "I love you". It's called old-school romance, people! Haven't you seen Pride and Prejudice? It's like that, probably.
Kourtney and Travis have a group hang with Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly. There's really no other way to put this. The couple went on a double date with their doppelgänger couple (and fabled shouters-of-their-love-from-the-rooftops) Megan Fox and MGK, with the four attending what looked to be a very American wrestling event.
The thumb-sucking incident. The situation swiftly went from 0 to 100 when Travis Barker decided to post a swathe of Instagram shots featuring racy photos of the two making out and – for some reason – a video of Kourtney sucking his thumb. Was this Megan Fox and MGK's influence? Will Kourtney and Travis start spruiking a weird risqué hoodie collection of their own? And finally, in the immortal worlds of Cardi B, what was the reason?
The bum photos. Just yesterday, both punters shared some very bum-centric pictures of Kourtney in a bikini, and I'm left wondering if this is all getting too much. What happened to all that restraint? The moderation? The notes? Things just went from cute and epistolary to borderline pornographic extremely fast.
I don't know. I've enjoyed Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian's extremely public posting for a while now. And god knows I'm happy for them. But I think they've reached an impasse. We've reached an impasse. They've made their point. They're an item. But in the words of a tie-dye-clad Jason Sudekis, it might be time to wrap this puppy up.
Written by Reena Gupta, a Melbourne-based writer for MTV Australia. Follow her on Twitter @purpletank.