Avril Lavigne Has Been Crowned The Most Dangerous Person Online


This week, Avril Lavigne had her name dragged through headlines for reasons that don’t involve Nickelback, cloning, or Sk8er Boi. The media weren’t dissecting the aggressive undertones in her ‘angsty’ music, but instead calling her a high risk person. 


Although the drama surrounding this seemed like a stretch at best, before I gave it a red hot Googled I did a little reflective thinking on what I knew about the star to begin with. How does a reformed pop-punk princess earn the title as the most dangerous person online?

Presuming that everyone understands that her and friendship with Marilyn Manson shouldn’t equate to being evil, I began to remember the gossip about her deathly devoted fans. Namely those in Brazil who paid upwards of a whopping $350 for the privilege to stand near her at a meet and greet. Those who partook were forewarned that they were under no circumstance allowed to touch her. In hindsight, this should have been our red flag.

Later on, Avril tried to clear via interview with Canadian radio station KiSS 92.5, but the response was confusing and long winded. She says, “I do touch my fans. My fans are very frisky, actually. In some countries where we've had security breaches, it's a little delicate because of things that have happened with stuff I probably shouldn't get into. 

"Sometimes other people ruin it for other people. If there's been a certain circumstance prior to a meet and greet, someone sneaking into a hotel or doing some shady stuff, they have to take extra precautions when people sneak backstage and stuff. I love my fans."

For the last 11 years, cyber security company McAfee conducts an annual poll to tell us who the most dangerous celebrities are in terms of internet safety. This year Avril Lavigne took the crown as searches for her name in particular have a 14.5% chance of leading you to websites that carry viruses or malware. Unfortunately the bad news doesn’t stop there, because that number allegedly increases to a hectic 22% if you type in her name to search for free MP3s. 


You might be thinking, “Wow, how is she TOPPING this list in 2017, considering her greatest hit was made in 2002?”. That’s inconclusive, however I think it has to do with the ongoing internet conspiracy that Avril died a few years ago and was replaced with a B grade imposter.


The silver lining is that she’s in good company because the list is chock full of great talent, including (in order of danger) Bruno Mars, Carly Rae Jepsen, Zayn Malik, Celine Dion, Calvin Harris, Justin Bieber, Diddy, Katy Perry and Beyonce.


I’m not sure if the moral here is, ‘stream don’t download’, ‘think before clicking’ or ‘don’t listen to Avril Lavigne’ but either way I’m grateful for the extra knowledge.


- Lillian "Flexmami" Ahenkan.

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