Daria Morgendorffer Is The Lockdown Icon We Need Right Now

8 September 2020 / 3:39 AM

I know what you’re thinking. Hey writer. Hey MTV bitch. When are you going to give us some Daria-related-lockdown coverage?!? I’m dying here!

Well firstly, that’s very rude. But leaving your personal attack aside, I’ve decided to give the people what they want: a quick rundown of why '90s feminist icon and MTV luminary Daria-goddamn-Morgendorffer would thrive in lockdown. Are you happy?! Good.

Here’s are five reasons Daria Morgendorffer is our low-key lockdown queen...

1. She's great on the phone

I think we can all agree that text messages don’t quite cut it In lockdown, and I’ve found myself regressing more and more to the lost art of the phone call – an area where ‘90s icon Daria Morgendorffer shined.

Of course, it’s 2020 so there’s also Zoom, FaceTime, Teams… but there’s something extremely satisfying about dialing a friend and putting a phone to your ear like it’s 1999.

2. She was always suspicious of going out

Daria has always had a lot of contempt for ‘going out’ with ‘other people’, and you can understand why. On a road trip in Season One’s Road Worrier she winds up being stung by a bee... after sitting on a peanut butter sandwich, that is. Ooof, Daria. It be like that sometimes.

She would've been safe and sound from all those stressors in lockdown, ammirite? Not to mention safe from COVID-19. Everybody wins.

3. She enjoys enclosed spaces

Daria had a long-time passion for hanging out in small, enclosed spaces. In Boxing Daria, the final episode of season five, Daria finds a refrigerator box in the backyard and crawls inside for some alone time.

We can only assume that Daria would also thrive under stay-at-home orders that would confine her to the walls of her apartment.

4. She invented social distancing

Now, Ms Morgendorffer spun off a lot of quotable quotes in her time, but “I don’t have low self-esteem, I have low esteem for everyone else” is one of the big ones.

Other than her best friend Jane, Daria isn't much of a fan of fellow human beings... and my bet is she'd take to those COVID-19 social distancing guidelines like a champ.