Imagine finding yourself in the unfortunate position of being Tom Hanks' son. Sure, America's dad would be your dad, but being the spawn of one of the most beloved actors, nay, men on the planet? The man responsible for giving us cultural stalwarts like Saving Private Ryan, Cast Away, Sleepless In Seattle, even Toy Story, for god's sake? Those are steep, steep shoes. So, maybe there was a time when we could have forgiven Chet Hanks' rogue social media energy every now and then, passing it off with a rueful side-eye and taking a moment to consider how lucky we are to have 'ordinary' parents. For reasons worthy of more words than this column allows, those days are sadly behind us. (Plus, he's 30 now.)
The latest from Chet? Well, he's trying to make 'white boy summer' happen. Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson's rapper son has stipulated a list of 'rules and regs' for the 'vanilla kings' who will join him, advising them to steer clear of plaid shirts and anything salmon-coloured (fair). "I just got this feeling, man, that this summer – it's about to be a white-boy summer. I'm not talking about Trump, you know, NASCAR-type white. I'm talking about, you know, me, Jon B., Jack Harlow–type white-boy summer. Let me know if you guys can vibe with that." What is up with this person?!
Of course, this is resolutely not what any of us can vibe with right now, except maybe white supremacists. As The Cut's Claire Lampen wrote yesterday, "it's gonna be a no from me".
And look, it's not even summer here, so Chet's suggestion must be vetoed by default.
We wish Tom Hanks our very best.
Written by Alice Griffin, editor of this very site. It first appeared in MTV Australia's weekly newsletter. Sign up here for more exclusive MTV content.