‘Global Handball King’ Kevin Rudd Has Tweeted A Handball Tutorial To Help Victorians Get Though Lockdown

Return of the handball king.

Australia's undisputed handball king and former PM Kevin Rudd has posted a handball tutorial video on his Twitter to help "the good people of Victoria" who have "been going through a tough time."

"So for a bit of fun, here are some brand new shots for the aficionados," he tweeted.

"Global handball friends one and all, it's K Rudd here – global handball king," says Rudd at the beginning of the vid with the kind of perfect deadpan delivery most actors couldn't dream of achieving.

Rudd goes on to explain that since a lot of us are bound to our homes at the moment, this is the perfect time to improve our handball game. But before getting into his pro tips, it's important to dress the part in appropriate handball gear ­– Ugg boots, a flannel shirt, "and most importantly, the COVID-19 beard – it helps with the aerodynamics of your dog shot," according to the former prime minister.

The video is all about quality over quantity, as over the span of three and a half minutes, Kevin 07 only teaches us two new shots – "The Very Famous K Rudd Memorial Between-The-Legs Melbourne Dog-Shot" and "The Famous Overhead COVID Smash," the latter of which must be accompanied by shouts of "hyapp" and "ahhh" which, according to Rudd, adds a "karate effect to the effectiveness of the COVID smash."

So yeah, it's just two shots, but judging by the former PM's powerful delivery, that's all you're going to need to obliterate the competition.

The whole thing is extremely surreal. From the slow-motion shots to the dramatic music, intense action replays and the sheer raw power on display from our former PM, it's just great to see.

The video is nice, but it's bittersweet. It's hard not to feel down when you're reminded of how much of a legend a prime minister can be – a concept that feels so foreign now given the smug pile of mediocracy incarnate currently leading the nation.

A real shame. We miss you Kevin. Thnks fr th Mmrs.

Written by David Allegretti, a Melbourne-based writer. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram.

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