Side note: Something I noticed when the opening credits rolled was that poor Jules is still slow-mo walking towards us like the ghost of Mykonos. RIP Jules.
In the world of Lohan Beach Club relationships, there’s some hot goss floating around the villa that Kyle and Gabi have been hooking up as well as some juicier information from Alex that he has hooked up with Kyle a bunch in his mind. Thanks for that visual.
The ambassadors head to another day in paradise at the Beach Club where Panos meets them at the lounges to tell them (in a voiceover that literally sounds like he recorded it on the toot last week) that he and Lindsay are thinking seriously about who is going to continue on with the brand AKA who is returning for a potential Season 2! (Please?)
Watch this week's Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club below:
Our VIP client today is none other than ‘Just Tattoo of Us USA’ host and ‘Younger’ star, Nico Tortorella. Panos and Gabi confess they’re 'Younger' fans and May thinks she’ll connect with Nico on a spiritual level because she use to put some stones by a window. Also possible bombshell, Nico was EX-FIANCE of boss b*tch herself, Lindsay Lohan.
Nico and Lindsay reconnect in a cabana and look there is a lot of flirtation here and you can tell these two have HISTORY. I also really want to know who everyone thinks was rocking the better hat in this scene. The former lovers play with a few tarot cards and Nico tries to release negative energy via incense on both Alex and Mike who have no f*cking idea what’s going on.
So we find out Aristotle got white girl wasted at Pride and another employee of Lindsay Lohan’s Beach House, Dina thinks Ari is "garbage" because of his drinking. Brent, everyone’s favourite asshole embellishes Ari’s drinking habits and starts dragging the poor guy and embarrassing him in front of Dina, who we find out Ari has a crush on.
Ari has had enough and bitches to Brent and Billy (where have you been!?) on the beach and it becomes obvious the feeling is mutual between all the ambassadors that Brent is THE WORST. Ari actually drops the c-bomb about old mate Brent and wow, more of this fire please!
Later in the night, Nico takes the ambassadors by the beach and becomes our Andy Cohen and hosts the 'Real Ambassadors of Mykonos' reunion, forcing everyone to air their laundry and just generally shade the hell out of each other. I see what you’re doing, Nico!
Kyle tries to low-key shade Brent and that obviously results in Brent shading Kyle back talking about how people are fake and how he thinks Kyle is jealous of him. No one is having any of Sara saying she has come to Mykonos and found love with Brent. With a collective eye roll from every ambassador, we know this LOVE Sara speaks of is not long for this world.
The following day the ambassadors head out to invite total strangers to a house party at their villa and honestly if Ari approached anyone on the street and asked them to come to his villa that night we would need a mop for the ground they are walking on. Jonitta once again has her eyes set on a man that turns out to be gay and poor thing cannot catch a break in Mykonos.
The ambassadors are getting ready for their house party by pre-drowning themselves in any alcohol in sight. Ari says he uses alcohol as a social coping mechanism and SAME! After a cryotherapy session with Lindsay, Nico joins the ambassadors at the villa for their party. Nico and Mike have a heart to heart about bisexuality and their experiences and Mike is finally happy to have someone who listens and doesn’t attack him like Alex did last week.
The drama is back in Brent and Sara’s domain at this party, surprise surprise. Brent’s friends from back home have shown up and he’s treating Sara like the memory of Jonitta slapping Gabi: FORGOTTEN! Brent doesn’t introduce Sara (HIS GIRLFRIEND) to his friends and jokes with them about not being with Sara once he returns back to the States.
Jonitta is having none of this Brent sh*t and is coming at him at every turn. While all of this is transpiring, Billy sees this as his opportunity to slide in on Sara. This doesn’t feel like the greatest time while poor girl is vulnerable, but Billy is a messy queen and we stan. As Jonitta perfectly puts it, "a shoulder to cry on ends up being a d*ck to ride on" and don’t we all need that.
Just quickly, the blurring of Aristotle’s butt when he pulls his pants down is a HATE CRIME!
When Brent and Sara finally confront each other, Brent has all the tact of Pete Davidson and Kate Beckinsale making out at a New York Rangers game and asks Sara if she wants to be dramatic a b*tch. Yes she does, so strap in!
The fight yet again gets Sara to question her and Brent’s relationship and the next morning, Brent tries to gaslight Sara into thinking the party last night was partly her fault and we are having none of it! The rest of the "mean boys" (as Lindsay labels them) are done with Brent, and sit down with Panos to discuss kicking Brent’s ass to the curb.
Next week it looks like Sara finally gets her revenge and hooks up with new power player Billy on the infamous Lindsay yacht where chef Lohan serves you Italian delicacies and drama on the high seas. See you then!