A Collection Of The Most Brilliant & Chaotic Things Miley Cyrus Has Posted Online This Week
Miley Cyrus's social media game has been exceptional this week. The singer and certified queen of covers has taken to Instagram and Twitter after her iconic Super Bowl performance with a string of terrific posts that shade her exes, celebrate masturbation and remind you to not have casual sex during a pandemic.
Say what you want about Miley: she really isn't bothered about what anyone thinks of her, and for that we are eternally grateful.
Here are our favourite posts from queen Miley this week.
1. "Already did, Brit"
Cyrus showed her support for Britney Spears at this year's Super Bowl, shouting "WE LOVE BRITNEY" at the start of her performance (a likely hat tip to the revealing new documentary Framing Britney Spears).
This morning, Cyrus took to Instagram to share the absolutely iconic photo of Spears wearing a DUMP HIM tee. "Already did Brit.", Cyrus wrote. Is she referring to her break-up after (basically) ten years with Liam Hemsworth, her parting ways with Aussie singer Cody Simpson, or both? It's unclear, but in any case, go off Miley.
All of this is particularly on brand for Miley at the moment who recently told her exes to "eat shit" on The Project. Fair.
2. "Shave an MC into your chest hair and I am YOURS"
Miley is no stranger to giving her fans chaotic instructions or challenges. Last year, she got involved in a strange TikTok trend "if Miley Cyrus comments on this, I'll do X", getting her fans to do everything from piercing their nipples to hooking up in their parents' bed.
The latest instalment of this comes from a Valentine's Day exchange with an infatuated UFC fighter. For some reason (but who are we to question such blessings?), Julian Marquez used his post-victory speech to not talk about his win, but to ask Miley Cyrus out.
"I've waited 30 long months to get on this damn mic and call these people out right now. This is my time to shine," he said.
"So, Miley Cyrus, will you be my Valentine?"
Miley responded on Twitter, saying if he shaved her initials into his chest hair, she'd be all his. Forget Tinder folks, this is literally the only way I want to be asked out from now on.
4. "Happy Shamelessly Masturbate For 24 Hours While Eating Chocolate Day!"
Miley's Valentine's Day posts this year have really taken the cake. She posted a series of Valentines Day eCard templates, featuring both her and Hannah Montana.
Instead of directing her affection toward a lover, she celebrated the art of masturbation. (Thanks to Miley's formatting choices, the caption reads like a supportive ransom letter).
5. "Hannah Montana Is Here To Remind You Of COVID-19 Which Means No Sex"
The second lot of Miley's personalised Valentine's Day eCards featured her early 2000s alter ego, Hannah Montana. Am I slightly disturbed by a photo of my childhood icon flanked by the words "if we were a movie, i'd want a sex scene"...? Sure. But I'm enjoying these posts from Miley so much that I'm willing to try to enjoy it anyway.
She wishes everyone a Valentine's Day with "fuck ton of fucking", but then follows up saying: "unfortunately Hannah is here to remind you of Covid-19 which means no sex.
Shading literally every live-in couple on earth, she continues, saying "(Unless you're married or live together & in that case you probably aren't getting laid on VDay anyway)." Shots fired.
6. "All I ever do is WHATEVER THE F*CK I WANT! Bahabahahahahabahahhahaha!"
Miley has taken to the internet to let us know she's just fine being single. She's tweeted this video of a Hannah Montana throwback, as well as a snippet from her at the Super Bowl saying she's absolutely single and not bothered. The caption strikes the perfect balance of celebratory and unhinged. From here on, I will no longer be saying "lmao" and only "Bahabahahahahabahahhahaha!"
Written by Dani Leever, a writer and homosexual pop culture enthusiast. Find their words at @danileever or catch their gay DJ drag adventures at @djgaydad.
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