Trigger warning: This opinion piece discusses sexual assault and miscarriage.

As far as influencer drama goes, a lot of it can feel very trivial. Watching beautiful people have tit-for-tats over Instagram stories just so their fans can know who to tackle next might be entertaining, but it is seldom relatable. And, if it is relatable, our version of the same squabbles happen in private, they’re not splayed across the internet.

However, a recent personal issue between two former Vine/now YouTube stars has shed a very disturbing, confronting and heartbreaking light on when influencer drama gets real.

Jessica Vazquez (Jessi Smiles) and Gabbie Hanna (The Gabbie Show) both dominated Vine in the app’s heyday, and both almost seamlessly crossed over to YouTube years ago. Hanna’s YouTube profile grew much faster than Smiles’, but both had – and continue to have – success just the same.

The two became best friends, featured in several videos together, and then quietly fell out. Fans wouldn’t learn (part of) the reason why until 2019, when Jessi Smiles uploaded a video titled ‘Gabbie Hanna needs to be stopped’. To cut a very long story short, a major issue between the two has to do with Smiles’ allegation that her ex-boyfriend, Curtis Lepore, had raped her in 2013 and around Hanna’s association with Lepore following the allegation.

Lepore was charged, pleaded not guilty and was released on $100,000 bail in early 2014. Later that year, he took a plea deal and pled guilty to felony assault, which was later reduced to a misdemeanor.

Smiles tweeted at the time, “It is no longer going to trial. I am okay with this and thankful for it to be over”.

However, it wasn’t over. From 2019, as the feud between Smiles and Hanna continued to erupt for the world to see, the topic of what happened to Smiles kept resurfacing. Hanna’s adamant stance that she never defended Lepore nor had any association with him continued to be broadcast across social media. While Hanna still maintained her innocence in her initial response to Smiles’ 2019 video, she seemed level-headed and diplomatic.

Yet, in the following months, Hanna’s anger towards Smiles grew publicly, with Hanna directly blaming Smiles for a “hate campaign” being made against her, as well as blaming Smiles for the accusations made by fans that Hanna was a “rape apologist”. At that point, Smiles had never publicly called Gabbie Hanna a rape apologist.

As Hanna’s career began to falter due to a multitude of feuds with other creators, Hanna told Buzzfeed News in a recent profile that it was “chaotic” that Smiles hadn’t apologised to Hanna for the harm she allegedly caused her.

Smiles was incensed by Hanna’s claim, so she revealed snippets of a phone call the two had last year where they put everything out on the table. Hanna believed the snippets were edited for manipulation, and she posted a link to the full recording, alongside another video where she condemns Smiles and calls her “my abuser”.

Smiles responded with an almost 90-minute long video of her own, reacting to and largely disputing each one of Hanna’s claims along with screenshots of text messages, tweets and the like.

It’s a multi-year saga that Insider has done an incredibly thorough job of documenting if you would like the context of the feud in detail.

Now, if you search both Gabbie and Jessi’s names together on YouTube, it would seem that the internet is firmly on Smiles’ side. Video titles refer to Smiles’ video as a “slam dunk”, saying she “drags”, “exposes”, and even “ended” her former friend. For what it’s worth, Gabbie Hanna hasn’t posted on her public social media platforms since Smiles released ‘Gabbi Hanna will never stop.’.

This is a far cry from the last time Smiles was embroiled in a public scandal with another influencer. Fans of her ex and alleged rapist, Curtis Lepore, were vicious, sending her horrific threats of rape and death. But, can we really call Jessi Smiles’ new video a win?

While it might be enthralling (for lack of a better word) to watch the aforementioned videos – Smiles’ two videos directly referencing Hanna have amassed over 10 million views total – it is still centered around a very real trauma that happened to a very real person.

Smiles says repeatedly in her last video that the only time she ever has to address what happened between her and Lepore is when Hanna is involved. Hanna herself said that she believes she has the right to talk about the incident because of how she believes Smiles connected her to their relationship and that, if Smiles didn’t want Hanna talking about her trauma, then Smiles “should have just left (me) alone”.

Smiles’ response to that bluntly points out a message that has become lost in the discourse around the two: “How about shut the fuck up about people’s trauma? Period.”

Jessi Smiles – who is halfway through a pregnancy as we speak, having suffered a miscarriage in January – gets very emotional multiple times throughout her most recent video. When you watch her video, you see a woman who is angry and drained. Once again, Smiles’ alleged rape is the centre of any public discussion around her.

Even the way the public has responded to Smiles’ latest video feels problematic. Lepore’s comment section on Instagram and replies on Twitter are filled with people calling him a rapist. The replies to Gabbie Hanna’s tweet where she shared her most recent video on Smiles are flooded with users telling her that they think she has done the wrong thing. Yet, the first two featured responses to Smiles’ tweet prefacing her recent video are about getting notifications for the video and about how both Smiles and Hanna are playing a ‘have the last word’ game.

Support has been shared for Smiles elsewhere following the video, of course, but the discourse is still centred on “Gabbie Hanna and Curtis Lepore are bad people” as opposed to “Jessi Smiles needs our support”. While the ‘cancellation’ of celebrities is usually about someone who did something wrong, we can often forget that there’s someone on the other side who was wronged by them.

We know Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein have been alleged to do terrible things, but do we remember the names of all the brave people that came forward with their stories?

Healing from sexual assault is a long and gruelling process – the end of which may never be met. Living out that process in the public eye, where a former friend continues to tell your own story to help defend themselves and people who don’t know you are calling you a liar, must be excruciating.

Abusers need to understand and feel the consequences of their actions, sure, but those who are abused should not feel like a supporting character in their own storyline. Follower counts are by no means a measure of being a good, or innocent, person, but it’s telling that Lepore and Hanna’s social media following still far outsizes Smiles’ – despite Lepore himself saying he no longer creates content for a living.

If you want to truly make sure Jessi Smiles gets what you think she deserves, then she needs to exist in the public sphere outside of the labels of “Curtis Lepore’s alleged rape victim” or “Gabbie Hanna’s ex-best friend”. Regardless of what really happened, Smiles feels incredibly hurt by both parties, and has felt that way for years.

Yet, she keeps on having to re-experience her trauma. Not just because Hanna directly speaks about it in an effort to clear her own name of any wrongdoing, but because we keep taking the bait. This isn’t a podcast episode or a storyline on Riverdale. This is real life.

Yes, Jessi Smiles is an alleged sexual assault survivor.  She’s also a mother, a wife, a comedian, a singer and so much more. With all she’s been through, she deserves better. She deserves to be defined by all she is, and not just what others have done to her.

If you have experienced any kind of sexual violence and are in need of crisis support, please call Rape & Domestic Violence Services Australia (1800 respect) or Lifeline Australia (13 11 14).

This is an opinion piece written by Jackson Langford, senior culture and music writer  at MTV Australia.