Who Asked For This???

Nintendo are delivering us a Super Mario Bros. movie and Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy and Jack Black are set to star. Thanks, I hate it.

Have you ever been playing Super Mario Odyssey, for example, and thought to yourself ‘Wow, someone should really turn this game’s story of two plumbers saving a princess from the clutches of a weird turtle dragon into a film, and it should star Chris Pratt?’

Of course you haven’t, but it’s coming anyway.

Nintendo, as part of their Nintendo Direct announcements earlier today, revealed that they’ll be giving the mega-successful gaming franchise a film adaptation for the big screen – and we know exactly who’s playing who.

We’ve got Chris Pratt as Mario, Charlie Day as Luigi, Anya Taylor-Joy as Peach, Jack Black as Bowser, Keegan-Michael Key as Toad, Seth Rogen as Donkey Kong and too many other actors that are no doubt being paid way too much to play other characters no one really cares about.

Now, it’s not all complete and utter chaos. This isn’t going to be a live-action feature – thank sweet Waluigi jesus. It’ll be animated, and these actors will merely be giving their voices to these characters who usually have little to no dialogue. I demand to see Chris Pratt’s best “it’s-a-me, Mario!” before I give him my tick of approval.

No word yet on when the movie – which remains untitled as of yet – will be hitting Australian screens, but it is set to hit cinemas in North America in December of next year. Perfect: 15 whole months to rethink this decision!

Anyway, if you need me, I’ll be going back to bed dreaming of a world where MarioKart is real, and trying to forget about this cursed tweet. 

Written by Jackson Langford, senior music and culture writer at MTV Australia. Hot takes at @jacksonlangford and hotter pics at @jacksonlangford.

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